I've sprayed such a concoction of chemicals on the various bits of porcelain that I've had to fling the windows open and retreat until the combination of noxious gasses subsides.
Now of course I have to go back in there and actually clean the damned things ...
I am NOT a domestic goddess, I may have mentioned that once or twice before - I once even wrote a poem about it and, if you were unlucky enough to miss it then here it is again:
The Ten Minute Tidy
Now I have theory
and I think its pretty sound
so listen up here deary
you may find it quite profound
I'm no domestic diva
my life is somewhat manic
but I don't get in a fever
and I do try not to panic
I really like surprises
and impromptu visits out
if one of those arises
you'll rarely see me pout
but if you knock upon my door
without a little warning
(Id like an hour and sometimes four
or preferably the previous morning!)
I may not want to let you in
(although I probably will)
I doubt I will have emptied the bin
which I ALWAYS overfill
there may be dishes the sink
the bath might need a clean
I may look like the missing link
my kitchen may not gleam
The hallway might just be a mess
I might just close some doors
but let's be honest, now please confess
Is there a reason we aren't at yours???
Anyway, that pretty much sums me up. My house is NOT showroom perfect EVER and, although I'm not a complete domestic slut and certain things, the loo, the hob and, for some reason, the kettle are regularly cleaned I'm a once a week duster and a couple of days a week I heave the vacuum around the house (usually less often around the bedrooms ...).
BUT, for the last few days I've been a woman possessed. I've cleared shelves and washed them down, dusted photo frames, cleaned the glass on pictures and emptied the drawers in my bedside tables.
I've detangled necklaces, paired up earrings, cleaned bracelets and set aside a pile of never worn jewellery for car booting.
Maybe it's this recent health scare that's set me off.
I mean, how embarrassing should I drop dead and someone else had to sort through the detritus of my life. The thousands of old receipt's, The used tissues. The fluffy solitary Trebor mint that's rolled under the bed ...
Obviously I'm not planning on dropping dead and no one has suggested I might but until they actually work out what's going on it is at least keeping me busy with the added bonus that when I get given the all clear I will be able to enjoy my good health in a relatively clean and tidy home.