Monday, 17 March 2014

Happy Birthday To Me

Rewinding with Maxabella and Life Love and Hiccups

It's no secret that I like Birthdays.  My own, the children's, the dogs,  yours, anyone's really.  I get just the tiniest bit over excited, always have and I like to make a big fuss, cakes, presents, special meals, trips out, evenings out, the whole works.

On Friday it was my birthday eve and yes, I DO have a birthday eve, birthdays aren't just for ...  ummm, BIRTHDAYS  you know ...

I started the day all excited, Miss Mac had an inset day, SD had a half day and I just had to work for a few hours in the morning so there was bound to be all manner of exciting things in store for me.

I took cakes into work:

need to work on my piping skills a little ;-)

Then back home to commence celebrations!!!

For some peculiar reason no one seemed quite as excited as me.  Miss Mac was still in PJ's,  SD came round with a list of jobs that needed doing, even Gus was curled up asleep in his basket.

I was a little miffed ....  Or, as SD put it, like a petulant 4 year old as I first moped a little, then got huffy (might have said something like, 'lets just CANCEL my birthday eve then shall we!!!')  then he said I got over tired went to sleep ...

Anyway, I was slightly mollified by a beautiful bouquet of flowers and the promise of lots of exciting stuff to do on my birthday and my birthday boxing day - Having a birthday at the weekend is SOOOO good don't you think?

Miss Mac cooked me breakfast on the actual day, I got loads of great presents including chocolate, wine, clothes, money, bath stuff, more wine, more chocolate and, the icing on the cake that I had yet to make, tickets to see The Stranglers in a couple of weeks - Excited?  Much??  Me???

It was such a beautiful day weather wise, after a lazy morning and a tea and cake stop with my lovely neighbour (more wine and a lovely handmade card) I cycled out to the farm to meet SD and spent several happy hours lazing in the garden in the sun eating cream cakes.

In the evening we met up with some friends and went to see a band.  I was really happy that Snappa, one of my favourite local bands (listen to them here) were playing at one of my favourite pubs 5 minutes from my house.

Being that it's an Irish pub, we'd had a day of Rugby and it's St Patricks day today, the place was HEAVING.

The band were in great form, loads of friends were out and the atmosphere was electric.

SD and I love to dance and despite the crush we bopped away, hair tossing (mine and his) until the early hours.  In fact, an hour past the time that the band were supposed to stop as Mary, the landlady who is very Irish refused to let them go:

This is Mary dancing on the tabletop at about 12:30am
I may have got a little drunk courtesy of the shots that someone kept buying me and I might have given into the temptation to tidy up the drummers hair a little (there's nothing worse than an unkempt drummer don't you think??) and I might have made a new best friend only I cant remember her name ...

I woke up early on my birthday boxing day remembering that Big D and the lovely L were going to be popping round for cake (which I hadn't yet made!)  and to deliver yet more presents as they had been busy the day before.  I realised that I might be slightly hungover when I stared  for a while in confusion at the electric mixer as I tried to insert the beaters before realising that I was in fact holding the iron! (when the hell did I get an iron??)

I enquires after their trip to Plymouth to see friends.  Big D mumbled something.  'What was that?' I asked.  He mumbled again looking sheepish.

'Took the ferry across the Tamar 8 times' he confessed, didn't see much else ....

Since the plan had been to meet the lovely L's brother on the far side and spend the day with them I was slightly confused.

It turns out that he had somehow managed to lock his keys in the car which was parked in the middle of the ferry and despite the best attempts of some firemen who happened to be aboard no one could break into it.  Whilst the lovely L went off for a day out my poor Big D travelled back and forth across the Tamar apologising profusely to everyone who had to navigate his parked car 8 times until eventually the AA turned up at one side or the other to get the damned thing open.

See, I TOLD you that those damned 'things' don't just happen to me! - they apparently happen to my children too.

Having brightened my day no end Big D and the lovely L went off and we headed to the seaside (where else?  I mean, it WAS my birthday weekend after all!).

I chose West Bay for the lovely harbour, the eclectic shops, the great seafront stalls with freshly caught fish and chips and good coffee.

It was the perfect way to spend my birthday weekend

It was even warm enough to wear shorts!  (the slightly frowny look is due to the sun rather than any lingering huffiness).

It was the best birthday and I am indeed blessed :-)

Wednesday, 12 March 2014

Braless In Boden Revisited

Linking up with Maxabella for the Weekend Rewind.

Occasionally I go for a wander around my blog and check out old posts.

I came across this one today that I'd forgotten about and I thought, 'why not repost it'.

So, here it is:

A couple of days ago I came across a post on Facebook that made me sit up and take notice.  Now in general the stuff on there doesn’t really excite me much, I’m not one for having hundreds ‘friends’ which is just as well as apparently hundreds of people don't WANT to be my friend anyway.

Mine is a mixture of old and new friends.  Or, as my Christmas post said:

‘Merry Christmas my old friends, my new friends and the rest of you, whoever the hell you are’.

Anyway, having only 70 odd friends can sometimes make for a boring FB with not much happening.  Sometimes I feel obliged to liven things up a little, sometimes I just leave it alone for a while.

Back to the point!

Maggie’s update (and yes Maggiemoo, I’m naming you!!!)  said:

Has anyone got a couple of small bits of felt in black and white that I could have (will pay postage) - I need to do some mending!!

Just a couple of things wrong with this!!!  Firstly, I know they have shops where you live Maggie and it’s only felt you want not the belly fur of a silver yak, wouldn’t it be easier to pop down to the local haberdashery and pick up some rather than getting someone to post it to you and then having to go to the trouble of going into town anyway to post off postage???  Just saying …………..

Secondly, who the bloody hell is this person impersonating my pal Maggie? I sat there repeating Maggie, mending, Maggie, mending, Maggie mending,  over and over in my head and even out loud to see if it made any more sense but no, my brain could not compute.  Maggie throws away, Maggie wears with holes,  Maggie does NOT mend!

SO WHO ATE MY MAGGIE??? Prime culprits are one of those damn Boden Mums from the forums she keep inexplicable joining.

Comments came in thick and fast.

what sort of size are you after? I might have a bit

I have felt the equivalent size to A4 paper if you want it

How about I give you some from the pieces I have, I can let you have them at school tomorrow?

I have some sourced from a pygmy tribe in Azerbaijan, 400 thread count but only in black and red (ok, I made that one up)

No one asked what she wanted it for, Maggie, what the fuck do you want it for?????

I only need a couple of cm's square - need it to keep the underwire bits in my bra!! (Ok, Boden Mummy, sick up my Maggie now, it’s not funny and it’s not clever!)

OF COURSE.  Like it's the most normal thing in the world to mend a bra! Like, if you WERE actually going to mend a bra of COURSE it would be with black and white felt. Like, if you were going to mend a bra with black and white felt the most obvious thing to do is to turn to your FB buddies for help?????

My suggestions for alternatives to the felt:
little squares of wholemeal toast, 
gummy bears,
old till receipts (which I was willing to post to her)
kitten fluff and
a bicycle inner tube were unanimously ignored as most of my more helpful inventive comments are.

Is there anybody out there who’s actually mended a bra (discounting the times when a straps snapped in public sending your boob plummeting south) and was felt the first thing that sprang to mind when you did????  Has a Boden Mummy eaten one of your dearest friends and have you manages to get them to regurgitate her?  Is there Hope for Maggie?

Yours, confused (and a little scared and missing Maggie) ……………………. 

Monday, 10 March 2014

The Hypodemic Nurdle

You know I've spent the last 18 months silently bemoaning the fact that my bedroom blinds only pull half way up the window for some reason before the cord thingy wont pull them any higher.  I'd assumed that SD (who very kindly put them up for me) had somehow done something wrong but I didn't like to mention it because I'm nice like that.

This morning Miss Mac walked into my bedroom and pulled both the blinds right up.  I was gobsmacked, no idea how she did it.  Then I realised that the whole time I'd been silently cussing SD for his less than satisfactory DIY efforts I'd actually pulling the cord the WRONG WAY!

Not sure why I'm telling you that.  I mean it's not like you don't already think I'm some kind of certifiable idiot (which I probably am but you are just to polite to say it) ...  Anyway, then I realised that because I hadn't been able to pull the blinds fully up I hadn't cleaned the tops of the windows in quite a while (or maybe even 18 months ...)  so I might just stick to pulling them half way and save on the housework because they look better like that ...

So spoonerisms - I'm sure you know what they are but the Wiki definition is as follows:

spoonerism is an error in speech or deliberate play on words in which corresponding consonantsvowels, or morphemes are switched (see metathesis) between two words in a phrase

Ermm, right ...

Apparently (and this IS only heresay) the Queen was once being shown around a park (or opening a park or something) and the person showing her around had been rehearsing for weeks what they were going to say.  When they reached the boating lake they turned to the Queen and said - 'We are very proud of our new boating lake, people come from far and wide to use their cunts and panoes ' - The Queen replied saying - 'Really?  Tell me, what exactly IS a panoe?' (Oh My God - I am SO sorry for the C word - but in my defence, it wasn't really ME who said it!!).

The other night SD was trying to remind me of a film we apparently watched together - I swear to god I didn't recall it at all (not even the bit where it was the end of the world or something and everyone escaped on giant arks which I'm sure IF I HAD WATCHED IT I would remember wouldn't I??? ...  Yes of course I would ....).  Anyway, he carried on banging on about the film (or possibly a different one, not really sure, stopped listening and was just nodding ...) when he said - 'you MUST remember THAT one, it's the one where they escape on speedgoats with buns!

I'm trying to work out how you spell the sound SNORT makes now cause that's what I did very loudly ...  several times ... until I had tears running down my face and SD was really rather pissed off with me ...  And it's STILL making me laugh days later - seriously, picture it please!!

Anyway, to show you that I'm not completely mean I'm now going to share with you something I once said, my most famous spoonerism that is still talked about in certain circles from time to time ...

I used to work on an IT help desk - I know, that's bloody hilarious in itself isn't it? But, in my defence, I WAS very caring when I said 'have you tried turning it off and then on again?' Anyway, I took a call from a user who had had a problem earlier in the day and who wanted to speak to the person who had dealt with it before.  'No problem' I said, 'I'll just transfer you' - turning to my colleague what I MEANT to say was  - 'M, I have Gordon Parker on the phone for you' but what I ACTUALLY said was - 'M, I have Garden Porker on the phone for you'  - I have this horrible feeling that I quietly cut him off at that point as frankly neither of us was capable of talking to him after that.

To be honest I wasn't really cut out to work on a helpdesk - I also once (slightly less famously) picked up the phone without really looking and smacked myself in the eye with it and then, to compound my stupidity said 'hello service desk, can you help me?'

Hmmm, anyway, what about you?  Made an arse of yourself lately?  Please share so I don't feel so alone ...

Thursday, 6 March 2014


Walking past a building site on my way to work this morning I heard one of the builders shout '4', then another one shouted back 'Nah, definitely 3'.

Bloody cheek I thought!!  I'd decided to go for the 'office punk' look this morning, a kind of blend of sensible meets anachronistic hopefully guaranteed NOT to look 'age appropriate' - can you believe Miss Mac threw that label at me the other week?

Anyway, I thought I looked ok with my pale grey top over a short dark grey skirt worn with my favourite New Rock biker boots and lots of silver and turquoise jewellery and my hair in a kind of spiky ponytail so I've got to say I was a bit pissed off to apparently only score a 4 and then have it downgraded to a 3!

It was only when they carried on talking that I realised that they were in fact talking about how many scaffolding poles they needed.  I was relieved until I realised that they hadn't even noticed me at all and I now appear to be invisible to builders, when did that happen???

I haven't really blogged much lately, not sure why.  I'm constantly writing blog posts in my head as I go about my day, I expect most of you do the same but nothing much is making it into print which is a shame as some were obviously totally brilliant.

So, what have I been up to ....

Well, I haven't made an arse of myself for a while.  At least I DID but fortunately there was no one there to witness it.

I was at work the other day sitting in my super duper, ergonomically designed chair, all levers and buttons that if I knew how to work them could probably fly me to the moon.  Obviously I have no idea how any of them work so I leave well alone.  Anyway, I dropped a pen on the floor and rather than push my chair back and get up to pick it up I leaned over the arm rest and tried to reach it.  It was just out of reach so I leaned further.  I must have pushed something as the armrest suddenly moved throwing me to the side where I hit my chin REALLY BLOODY HARD on it before falling off the front of the chair onto my knees.  Fortunately, as I said, there was no one there to witness my humiliation although I think pretty much everyone in the building heard the crash and the swearing that followed it but I'm denying all knowledge.

I've also decided to let Miss Mac paint one of the kitchen walls as an art project.  I painted the kitchen white a couple of months ago more as a blank canvas while I decide what to do with it so it's all looking a bit bland right now.  Actually, it's looking a little bland and lumpy.  I probably should have invested in some new paint but I had some white emulsion in the shed and decided to use it up thinking I could just brush the little lumps out of it ....  Hmmm, that didn't go so well ....

Anyway, watch this space, she has started but I'll wait until there is more to show before taking photos.

Other than that life just bumbles along as I wait for Spring and a little sunshine, I think we are owed some after all the rain we've had in the last few months.

At some point I may write something a little more entertaining but that's all I've got right now.