Thank you Rowen for being called ... errm, Rowen (it helped LOTS ;).
Now I like Rowen even though she likened me to her Grandmother (who I'm sure is a lovely person) and so, when she said her Dad used to like Pam Ayres (bear with me here) I promised to regurgitate this poem especially for her so here it is:
Bingo Boobs (a trueish story)
I thought I saw her bingo book
Lurking under there,
I didn't really like to look
It seemed so rude to stare.
Her chest was like a giant pillow
With room for several heads,
Across the table it seemed to billow
Enough for at LEAST two beds.
Where was her book? It was a farce
I felt I ought to say,
I just thank god it wasn't under her arse
Or we'd have been there half the day!
I'd umm'd and ahh'd (and gestured too!)
And pointed at her bits,
Then I shouted out (what else could I do?)
" IT'S UNDERNEATH YOUR TITS!!"
Eat your heart out Pammie ;)