Thursday, 31 January 2013

Rewinding - Tall Poppies

I wrote this post a while ago for Write on  Wednesdays.

Sadly this writing group no longer exists and I've missed it!

It's possibly my personal favourite so I thought it was time to get it back out there.

As with almost all of my fiction it is based in fact - the pin exists, my Grandmother gave it to me when I was 13 just before she died and I wore it tucked into the lace of my stocking on my wedding day ...

Write On Wednesdays

The Write on Wednesday Spark:  Possessing Beauty
Write about a collection. Write about something you or ,someone you know, collects. Think about the "why" behind the collection - why is it important to collect this particular thing? How does it make the person feel to add another piece to their collection? Is the group of objects there to be seen, to be studied or simply kept together? Write a real life story or a piece of fiction. Wherever the prompt takes you...Keep your post on the short side: up to 500 words OR a 5 minute stream of consciousness exercise. Link your finished piece to the list and begin popping by the other links. Oh, and enjoy!

This is a story that I've re-worked, I think I even published it for about 5 minutes a while ago.

It's been around for a while and the link, although slightly tenuous, seemed to me to fit with this weeks prompt.

Today seemed like the right day to bring it out (sorry, I've completely overshot the word count and time!)

Tall Poppies

The box was tucked away at the very back of the cupboard.

She hadn't thought about it for years and gradually it had been hidden under a pile of other things, all too precious to part with but without a place in her daily life.

Gently she traced the outline of the flowers painted on the lid.  Their vibrant colours had faded over the years.

The gilt edge of the box was worn and scuffed.

Sinking into the chair next to the bed, the box on her knee she mentally ran through the contents.

Wanting, before opening it, to reassure herself that she hadn't forgotten anything.

That the passing years hadn't dimmed the memories.

She place the box very precisely on the bedside table.  It seemed important that it should be just so.

 For a moment she was tempted to  just put the box back on the shelf and pretend she hadn't found it.

After all, she hadn't even been looking for it.

With a small sigh she lifted the lid and there, on the top, where she had laid it so long ago it was the gold pin.

It was for a scarf or maybe even a hat. The small golden cap that used to fit snugly over the sharp end to stop it from being lost was long gone but the pin, a delicate, tiny sapphire, surrounded by seed pearls in the shape of a daisy nestled in the tissue paper she had wrapped it in on the evening of her wedding day.

She remembered so clearly the day her Grandmother had given it to her.

She was 13.

Her Grandmother was dying and, although she hadn't been aware of it she thought now that perhaps her Grandmother had sensed that the end was near.

"Keep it safe" she had told her.  "Wear it on your wedding day.  Something old, something blue".

Many, many years later she did just that, threading the gold pin into the cream lace top of her stocking.

With the sharp point grazing her thigh as she walked down the aisle towards her future husband she had felt her Grandmother walked beside her.

Taking the pin from the box she turned it over and over in her hands.

Smoothing the petals with her fingertips.

If she could see her now, what would she think?

"Tall poppies" she would say.

"Remember, the  tall poppies may flaunt themselves in a field of wheat.

They may think they are special because they stand head and shoulders above the rest.

Because they are brighter and their beauty draws the eye.

Because the bees stop by and the butterflies rest a while.

But come harvest time the combine doesn't see the difference between the wheat and the poppies.

The combine cuts everything in it's path".

She hadn't listened.  She had thought her Grandmother was wrong.

She had basked in the warmth.

She had weathered the storms.

Her petals darkened slightly, bearing watermarks from falling rain, her marriage failed but still she reached out towards the sun.

And her Grandmother was wrong.

The end didn't come from the combine harvester after all.

The end came from the scythe.

A sweeping cut so low and so swift that she didn't feel the pain until she was already falling.

Into the dust, petals crushed and torn under careless feet.

The wheat closed in above her and turned it's face back to the sun as though the tall poppy had never been.

Monday, 28 January 2013

Five Sentence Fiction - Ringing

Lillie McFerrin Writes

What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week I will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.

This week: RINGING

It's been a while since I joined in with FSF so I'm a bit rusty but it's good to be back.

Sunlight shone through her closed eyelids turned her world into a dappled kaleidoscope of golden dots.

A soft breeze carried the promise of contentment on green scented breath.

The rhythmic slapping of water against wood lulled her with a soothing symphony as she drifted on the outgoing tide.

As an insistent buzzing shattered the calm a slight smile touched the corners of her mouth.

With a seamless motion, eyes still closed she reached down and dropped the phone over the side of the boat.

Friday, 25 January 2013

I't's A Beautiful Thing

I just wrote a really ranty post when all I really wanted to do was to share these photos with you.

Anyway, I don't want to detract from them so I've deleted it (maybe another time).

Not sure why I'm in rant mode anyway,  I'm in a really happy place right now with a fantastic weekend ahead of me which I will share in a post next week.

I hope you enjoy these photos, I love to take credit for them all but unfortunately I can't.  They were all taken by local people and are all local to me though.

I live in a beautiful part of the country with the Blackdown hills to one side, the Quantocks to another and Exmoor on my doorstep as well as all those great beaches I keep showing you.

Happy (in a slightly smug kind of way)?  Me??  You bet ;)

Say what you like about the inconvenience of snow - I think it's stunning!

Snow on Exmoor

St Marys Church (I can see this from my house)

The view from the Blackdown hills

The edge of the Quantock hills

Deer on the Blackdowns

What a great couple!

The bandstand at Vivary Park in the centre of town (I much prefer this to it's usual  coiffured look)

Thursday, 17 January 2013

Frosty Flora


Or is it fauna?  I'm never really sure ....

Anyway, this one's for you FC - more soon.

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Challenging Behaviour

I know what you're thinking .... ;)

I've no doubt from time to time that some people might possibly find my behaviour a little challenging however, this is about me challenging my OWN behaviour.

I said a few posts back that I don't make New Years Resolutions and its true, I don't but I do think that the beginning of a brand new year is a good time to take stock and think about where you want it to lead.

I've been doing a lot of that in the last few weeks and, in my own quiet way (yep, every now and then I can do something without making a drama out of it, honest!!), I've been making some changes, some physical and some from an emotional point of view.

The two things that I want most for myself are health and contentment.  Two things that to some degree or other have eluded me in recent years.

If that surprises you given that there are so many things I have in my life that should make me happy then what can I say?  You're right of course, there are and they DO make me happy but ...

But, but, BUT ...  The sum of happy things doesn't always add up to contentment.  They add up to happy days, happy moments, happy snap shots in time ...

Sometimes it's the things you don't have that you want the most.  Sometimes you want them blindly long after you remember why you wanted them at all and all this does is cause discontent.  Discontents insidious vapour weaves it way around your life, dampening, clouding and muffling.

On the surface I am very much a person who deals with the things I can deal with and sets aside those things that I know I have no control over, things that I can't influence.

For the most part this works for me but I can't make them go away however much I wish I could.

I suppose it comes down to acceptance.

Maybe I need to take these things out again.  Look at them in the clear light of day.  Ask myself WHY is it that I think I want them?  What is it that I think they would bring to my life?  If it's things I once had that I've lost then why did I lose them?  What did they bring to my life when I had them?  And, most importantly, if I could have them back, would I really want them?

The answer to that is yes, some of them ...

If it's things I've never had but have just always longed for then maybe I need to ask myself the same questions.  Maybe I also need to look at my life and see that the things I do have are actually so much better than the things I think I want.

Maybe it's not a question of making things go away.  Maybe all I really need to do is to acknowledge that they have already gone and let them go from my life.

Well, that's the introspection part of this post out of the way (and time to stop saying maybe perhaps??? ;). 

Now to look at the positives!

I really am a lucky bitch you know!

I could just leave it at that couldn't I?  You read my blog, you know my life is good.  You know I have the best friends.  That my life is rarely boring.  That I have many people who love me (as I love them) and that I am lucky enough to have something that eludes so many, a man in my life who loves me just the way I am.

So, moving on to my second challenge.  My health!

I've had some health blips over the last few years.  Nothing serious fortunately although it took a while to work that out.  I struggle with sleeping and my weight on an almost daily basis but again, these aren't life threatening things.

I decided it was time to take stock.  This year I will turn 47.

Jesus, how did THAT happen!!!

I'm fairly confident that I don't look my age.  I'm pretty happy in my own skin but I cant ignore that I'm getting older and things will change at some point and there are things that I can do now that will benefit me in the long run (and I have so many thing left that I want to do so I'm hoping for a pretty long run).

Detoxing is my first step.

I drink far too much coffee and tea and not enough water.  I've cut out all but my early morning cuppa (this has to be something sustainable, I'm not trying to punish myself).  I will allow myself the odd coffee with friends.  SD and I have a tradition of a coffee date on Friday afternoons when he finish work early.  We wander into town and take up our position either outside (if the weather allows) or inside by the window of our favourite cafe Roots in the centre of town.  We people watch and chat about our day.  It's the perfect start to the weekend.

I meet other friends on a regular basis and we sit and chat and put the world to rights.

I'm going back to sensible eating.  No more cutting breakfast.  I'm avoiding refined sugar and salt.  Not actually a biggie for me as I'm not a fan of either anyway.  I don't eat much bread or carbs in general and only really like multigrain or seeded wholemeal so that's ok.

Don't worry K, I'm not giving up cake :) but again, everything in moderation.

The other thing I'm doing is exercising more.  I can't run due to a knee injury years ago which rules out anything high impact but I can cycle.  I live two minutes from the river and the canal, perfect for cycling.  Gus and I went along the canal this morning.  It was so beautiful and peaceful.  We did a circuit of about 5 miles at a leisurely pace.  We were limited mostly by the distance Gus can run.  Poor old Gus also has an injury sustained when he was a pup and ran full pelt into a goal post down at the park.  Despite the vets reassurance I'm pretty sure he broke his leg as it's left him with a limp.  Anyway, 5 miles is about his limit so if I want to venture further I will have to leave him at home.

2012 was a year of two halves for me.  The first half being a real struggle and being challenged in ways I could never have imagined.  The second half was about putting my life back together again.  Rebuilding it into a different shape, a new pattern, a better pattern, one that spells happiness and contentment.

2013 is a chance to consolidate all of that hard work and to appreciate the people who helped me to build it.

One person above all helped me get where I am today:

SD, there was a time where I said it was inconceivable but you really have become my best friend and I love you.

Sunday, 13 January 2013

The Lazy Post

Or, to be more accurate, 'the absolutely bloody knackered post!'

It's coming up to 7:30am on Sunday morning.  The sky is just starting to lighten slightly.

I have no reason to be awake let alone up and yet I am.  In fact I have been since about 3:45am.

I hate the kind of insomnia that lulls you into a false sense of security by letting you drift off to sleep only to find yourself wide awake a couple of hours later.  At least the kind that doesn't let you sleep at all has some kind of honesty about it ...

I WAS going to write you a blog post.  I had decided to share those things that happened over Christmas (including the one that isn't actually about me but was so funny it really needs to be shared).

But my head and my fingers aren't communicating right now and I know I wouldn't do it justice SO ....  I had a bit of a rummage around the blog and decided on a reposting.

So, hear it is ....

'Crap and Councillors'

This evening I attended a council meeting.

For those of you who don't know, I belong to an action group for our local park.

We do a little fund raising.  A little bulb planting. A little bench painting ect.

Little things that make our park a nicer place and ensure that the local council have a vested interest in keeping it looking good ie WE KNOW WHERE THEY LIVE!!!

God councillors are (for the most part) boring old farts!

I went along with Den. I shall call him Den, not necessarily because that's his name but because that's what I choose to call him.

In fact, I shall call him Dirty Den or DD or no ...  I shall call him Double D!!!

Ok, Double D (which is NOT his real name) and I rocked up at about 6:20 for a 6:30 start.

He is a truly crap driver btw with a truly crap car.

I got in the bastard thing, went to shut the door and the whole door panel damn near came off in my hand (my bloody finger nail DID come off!!).

He also drove half the way home again so busy slagging off the Christmas lights in town (they aren't THAT bad) that he totally forgot to turn his lights on.

Anyway, crap driver with a shitty car he may be but I'm really rather fond of him and I love that fact that he's so far out of place in a council meeting it's like being there with an alien from another planet which cheers me up no end.

Like I said, they are a bunch of boring farts.

Double D kept asking what I was scribbling on my note pad before the meeting had even started.

Blog fodder I hissed (he has NO idea what a blog is bless him)  have you seen his braces?

Pull those babies any higher and he'll be wearing his testicles as earrings!

Better still twang them and see if his nipples fly off said Double D.

 I snorted VERY loudly at that point not realising that as I was leaning forward Id depressed the talk button on my microphone.

 I sooo wanted to take pictures of them all for you.

That's another thing!!

The damn room was set up like the House of Commons. All state of the art whatnots, no WONDER the bloody roads are full of pot hole, I SEE where my council tax goes!!

Anyway, I digress ...

I so want to just photocopy and scan my scribbles for you  complete with doodles but they are so bad even I struggle to decipher them.

It started off with a friendly debate about when they would be getting their year book (the councillors bible that tells them all the meeting dates, who's who, who THEY are ect).

It transpired that a couple had already got them.  Much 'poor show' and 'ye gads' followed as those who had flourished them and those who didn't looked on in envy.

That was until it transpire that this year THERE WAS NO RIBBON!!

What effing ribbon?

The one to place in between the pages so you don't lose your place of course.

They seemed to lose some of their kudos after that and much grumbling and threats of 'having words' were uttered.

Apparently it was a money saving initiative.

OF COURSE, they have to pay for f*cking state of the art conference rooms SOMEHOW don't they?

Then there was the discussion about the clocks in the room.

One told the correct time, the other appeared to be stuck at 5 to 5.

'Wasn't that the time Blue Peter used to start?' Said the mayor (I shit you not, it was the mayor!)

No, said Cllr ESP (and yes, those ARE his real initials;) That was Cracker Jack.

The sole magistrate at the back (who had been peacefully dozing) suddenly piped up, 'we have to pay for our own effing year books you know, you should think yourselves lucky!.

She then went promptly back to sleep for the rest of the meeting.

The Chair, cllr f*ckwit  (yeees, that's HIS real name too :) apologised for sounding like he came from Wolverhampton but he had a slight cold (difficult one that if you dont know what a Wolverhampton accent sounds like)

Ok, this might help ...

They then discussed the merits of having a calender printed next year.

Ooh, we were going to do that piped up the deputy mayor but the cost was astronomical so we are having a series of tea towels printed instead (I shit you not!!;).

Briefly the possibility of having the cllrs do it WI style, ie naked was considered but it was generally agreed that no one really wanted to see them at all ...  ever ...  even fully clothed let alone in the buff .

This was all by the way BEFORE the meeting proper started.

We were there to discuss the Diamond Jubilee celebrations and to ensure that events didn't encroach or overlap.

Woe betide anyone trying to steal a  rise over the Eggbuckland egg throwing competition or the Welland wheelbarrow race with (chortle) REAL wheelbarrows!!

Personally I thought the Wellington wife wanging competition and the Thurloxton toast tossing events sounded like MUCH more fun. (I may or may not be lying about any or ALL of this btw;)

They then started banging on about lighting the beacons which was all a little boring tbh.

Should they just be official ones or could we all build bloody great bonfires in our back gardens?

Historically they would have been lit at the top of churches but sadly health and safety and insurance etc pretty much rules that out these days.

I did have a little chuckle when concerns were expressed that this bureaucracy, gone mad might,  'weaken the beacon' :)

There was then a long diatribe from a bloke I could have sworn wasn't English but according to Double D it was just that he had so many plums in his mouth he could barely speak.

No idea what he was banging on about.

Midway through it all I had a sudden craving for Coronation Chicken.

WTF was that all about??

I haven't had Coronation Chicken since the 1987 (and even then it was turkey, not chicken) .

Anyway, I think I got down most of the salient points.

Perhaps I should just email this post to our secretary?

That'll teach her to go herself next time!

A Sarah original is in the pipeline and might even get finished when I find a cure for insomnia ;)

Friday, 11 January 2013

Christmas Present

A little late in the day but this one is for FC :)

You know, It really does seem like THE most appropriate title for this post.

This Christmas it would have been easy to believe that some benevolent rosy cheeked old gent scrolling though his well thumbed note book had, coming across my name, paused and, tapping his pen gently against his pursed lips smiled before putting a large tick in the 'has been good this year' box.

Technically I probably haven't actually been good all year but maybe he thought I deserved a break and so would overlook one or two minor indiscretions.

Of course I have some stories to tell and yes, Christmas didn't get in the way of those damned 'things' happening and I will tell you about them in another blog post I promise but this one I'm playing straight because it truly was a magical time.

Christmas Eve was spent in the company of friends.  Groups gathered and mingled, came together and drifted apart on a cloud of laughter and bonhomie (ok, technically what I'm describing was a pub crawl but the best of it's kind ;).  I arrived late and left early which seemed just the right amount of time.

Christmas Day morning found me sitting in the soft glow from the Christmas tree and the myriad of fairy lights strung across the fireplace, around windows and doorways savouring the peace and the stillness.  Sending text and emails winging their way around the country and across continents wishing friends and family a very merry Christmas.  So different to the days of Christmas past when we would all have been gathered together but somehow still feeling the closeness to those who matter most to me in this world.

After the chaos of present opening, the traditional uncorking of the Bucks Fizz (where I sit on the decking in the garden, bottle clenched between my thighs, eyes closed, absolutely bloody terrified trying to ease the cork out) and a leisurely breakfast of scrambled eggs it was time to dress for lunch.

For once I wasn't cooking this year.  Some how the previous days had seemed a little empty without the shopping and preparation.  I'd felt a little lost and as though I'd 'forgotten' something.  I love to cook and most of all, I love to cook for people but I have to admit, the novelty of not running around, having time to just sit and enjoy the day with no pressure was lovely just this once.

After an amazing lunch where I ate far too much and yet more present opening we talked idly about going for a walk (I guess that's kind of a tradition too - one day I might actually do it;) we popped round to see friends where we were offered the most amazing homemade chocolate cheesecake ...  well, it would have been rude to refuse wouldn't it?

Feeling just slightly queasy we gathered up our loot and came home to watch a DVD (I can't actually remember what).  It was a pretty magical day.

Boxing Day was spent at the beach (yes, I know, I'm obsessed ;).  I've posted so many photos of Lyme Regis in the past that I have nothing new to share with you so instead you get a photo of my arse (complete with bad hair (it was a little windy ok ;)  and, one of my favourite presents, a woolly red scarf with pompoms!! :):

Photo: A gratuitous Boxing day arse shot from a slightly breezy Lyme Regis

After all the excess of the previous day (ok, WEEK!) it was great to get out and breath in great lungfuls of sea air.  We walked along the seafront, wandered around the art gallery's and sat overlooking the beach drinking coffee.
Another shot where you can appreciate the awesomeness of my scarf without being offended by my face ;)
Photo: I think this captures my best side ....
And then back into town to catch up with friends and see one of my favourite local bands.

The week between Christmas and New Year was spent catching up with family and friends including my lovely Mr O who I haven't seen for the LONGEST time!
One of the things I love most about him is that everything is an occasion, a celebration and just SO much damned fun!
A perfect excuse to wear a dress that (although I'm pretty sure he'd never admit it) I think SD considers a little .... tarty!  Luckily Mr O loves all things tarty which is great because I've been dying to wear it (I would show you a photo so you could make you own mind up but sadly I don't have one - suffice to say it is very short and leave little to the imagination ... hmm, SD COULD be right ;).
The evening started with far too much pink champagne and kind of went on from there.  Huge quantities of Mexican food - we have THE best Mexican I've ever found just around the corner from me, how lucky am I???  Of course we drank Sangria which, in my opinion comes a close second to Pimms in the fruit salad with benefits stakes.  It was a magical evening.  If you're ever in the area you really do need to visit the Mexican, the food is great, it's tiny and intimate and the staff are the stuff of legends!
On New Years Eve we went to Exeter shopping taking Miss Mac and her friend. Letting them lose in the High St with a handful of New Look vouchers and some cash we slinked off down to the old town to The Real McCoy, surely the best shop in the country? 

If I'd had £150 to spare I could have bought an original pair of 1960's petrol washed Levis, as I didn't I settled for a great Bench hat that I may just wear all summer. 

The real McCoy isn't just a shop, it's an experience.  You can drink coffee in the retro cafe whilst watching silent movies.  You can buy original 60's clothing, second hand vintage wedding dresses, fancy dress, new clothes, just about anything and everything!  The old end of Exeter is bursting with small independent shops and I've got to admit I was VERY tempted by a Goth wedding dress which would have looked amazing on.  I always felt I should really have been a Goth, love their clothes and make up but then, I was also seduced by the punks that used to hang around the High St in the early 80's and I much preferred their music.
New Years Eve was PARTY TIME!!!  It was also fancy dress ...  even worse, themed fancy dress :(.  I struggle a little with fancy dress.  I like the dressing up bit just not the fancy bit and the theme for this party was onsies ...
I wasn't particularly keen to spend £25 on an all in one giraffe outfit that I didn't want and would never wear again so SD suggested I borrow a pair of his overalls ....
I think he may have misunderstood the 'I like dressing up' bit just a little ....
Gamely entering into the spirit of things I agreed to wear a tank suit, DM's and aviators and go for the 'Sisters of Mercy meets military' look and here I am with Miss Mac in a rare photo of us together (having bribed her with yet more Bucks Fizz):
Photo: Yes, I did have to bribe her with Bucks Fizz before she would have her photo taken with me ...
Later that evening things degenerated somewhat ....
Photo: Yes it did seem like a good idea last night and no, I dont appear to be able to walk this morning ...
And then ...
Photo: And this is the point where I failed ....
New Years Day was THE most beautiful day here in the UK so I went to the .... ummm, beach ;)
West Bay - how gorgeous is this???
Photo: A perfect way to start the New Year at West Bay and Lyme Regis.
 I wore my new hat (not the greatest pic ;)

 I had the most amazing brunch looking out over this view.

That's pretty much it I think.  No doubt there was other stuff that I've missed out and of course I have still to tell you about those 'things that happened which I will in another post.

So yes, Christmas this year really was a gift and I feel incredibly lucky to have so many good things and people in my life :)).

Thursday, 10 January 2013

Lesson Learned

I've got a few partly written posts in draft. 

One is a straight down the line post about my Christmas - another is about those damned things that happened over the Christmas period.  As we drift further away from the festive season I feel I'm losing momentum to finish them.  After all, who wants to read about Christmas in February??

I think that both of them are worthy of being published so I really should get my act together and I've got some great photos to share with you all but, before I do, I've been feeling I should revisit a post I wrote just after Christmas which may have been a little ambiguous even (dare I say it AGAIN) a little drama queenish.

I was debating where I was going with my blog or even if I should continue with it.  It was (as it often is with me) a bit of a knee jerk reaction to something that had happened.

I alluded to but didn't explain what had brought me to the way of thinking.

Well, this is what happened:

I wrote a post which included a photo of SD's beach buggy.  I posted the same photo on Facebook.

SD has always known I write a blog, he knows that he appears in it on occasion.  He doesn't want to read it, he has never asked what his pseudonym is and all he has ever asked is that I respect his privacy in that I don't post anything that could directly link back to him.

I failed in that promise...

The photo of the buggy was picked up by google images which linked it directly back to my blog.

A friend of his came across the image and therefore my blog.

Now, I know many people are quite open about their blogs and include links to posts on FB ect. 

I don't.  I never have.  For me my blog is something separate to my every day life.  Sure I have some friends who know about it and read it but very few.  Most of the people I know in every day life have no idea I write it and that's the way I like it.

Anyway, SD came in for a little gentle teasing.  I need to stress that this was a good friend of his, someone I consider a friend too.  There was no malice intended, no intention to upset anyone and no one at fault other than myself for being thoughtless.

But SD was upset, he is a very private person and he felt exposed.  He felt I'd let him down and he was right.  Unintentionally I had!

Anyone who's been reading my blog for any time knows that there are some quite sensitive posts on here, things I don't want to necessarily share with people I may see on a daily basis (other than close friends of my own).  It's kind of ironic that I'll happily publish quite intimate stuff about myself on occasion for relative strangers to read but I don't want people I know to see it.

So that's why I put the whole thing back into draft.  That's why I'm still a little cagey about what I write.  That's why I'm struggling to finish posts and hit the publish button.  My little bubble has been breached and who's to say it wont be again?

Starting another blog and keeping it anonymous is one option but, as I've found, it's not always foolproof.

Fronting it out and carry on as normal is another, but again, as I've found, it's not that easy.

What I don't want, what I've never wanted is for my blog to hurt anyone in anyway.

I wonder if I'm making too big a deal over it.  SD and I have talked about it.  He knows how sorry I am.  I know his friend picked up on the fact that it caused a little friction which wasn't his intention.  Possibly he will never bother to look up my blog again, after all, it was a chance in a million that he found it.

So, here's what I've decided.

I will carry on writing here but I will be a little more mindful of what I write.  I'll still tell my stories and post my photos but I'll be more careful and more respectful of the power of the Internet.

I will go back and take some posts out of draft at some point but some will stay hidden because they have served their purpose and that's where they belong.

Maybe in some ways is wasn't a bad lesson for me to learn.

Monday, 7 January 2013

'WTF Are You Doing Sarah'

SD has this way of looking at me sometimes - it's almost like he's thinking 'WTF are you doing Sarah'.

In fact, SOMETIMES he actually says, 'WTF are you DOING Sarah???'

This afternoon I was minding my own business when became aware of SD watching me with THAT look on his face.

So I gave him that eyebrows raised, mouth open, shoulder shrugging kinda look back as though to say, 'isn't it obvious WTF I'm doing???' -  but STILL he said it.

So I ignored him.

There was a brief pause and then he said:

Sarah are you ... are you ...  measuring your arse???

And yes, for the record, I WAS measuring my arse and I'm pretty sure that not one of you would have felt the need to ask that question had you seen me with a tape measure stretched across my backside because, like I said, it was bleedin' obvious wasn't it?  Asking me why, well now that might just have been the more sensible question don't you think? *

Ok, sometime (just SOMETIMES mind) SD is possibly perfectly justified in giving me THAT look.

For instance:

Some time between Christmas and New Year (and I have soooo many stories to tell about that! ;) SD and I put up a new fence at the farm.

Before we could put up the new fence we had to take down the old one.  This involved removing the old uprights that were buried quite deep.

SD drove the van into the field, tied a rope to the old upright and handed the other end to me.  He got back into the van saying 'sort that out and tell me when somethings happening'.

Got to admit, I wasn't really sure what was supposed to happen next but I nodded encouragingly.

Slowly, slowly he pulled away.  'Anything?' he shouted - 'Not yet I replied' still wondering what the hell I was supposed to be looking for.

He inched forward a little more - 'Anything yet?' he shouted. 'Nothing' I replied looking around completely mystified.

Another couple of inches - 'Anything yet?' he shouted sounding a little impatient. 'Ummm, no, not really ....'

SD stuck his head out of the window, looked at me and that expression of total incredulity stole across his face.

Without a word he jumped out of the van, walked across to me, took the loose end of the rope that I'd been twirling in my hand and hooked it around the vans tow hitch ....

Oh ....

*and SD SHOULD have known the answer to that anyway!

Wednesday, 2 January 2013

Hey You

Happy New Year to you all!

Echoing something I said to my FB friends - I hope 2013 brings you all Happiness, Contentment and Love.

I know a few of you have wondered where I'd gone (thank you so much to those who dropped me an email :).

Well, although I'm not going to dwell on it too much I will tell you that something happened just before Christmas that made me think very hard about where I was going with my blog or if in fact I could or should continue with it.

Whilst I've been doing my thinking I put all my posts back into draft.  I have republished my very last post from last year but the rest  are still in draft for the time being.

As you can see, I am still here.  I WANT to be here but I'm cautious, I'm a little wary and I fucking HATE that!

If I don't feel like I can write what I want in the way that I want then I'm not sure I'll write at all but I can't imagine not writing ...

I don't make new years resolutions but if I did maybe mine should be to dig out those marigolds with 'fuck you' studded knuckles because I only know how to be me ...