You may be new to my blog and therefore have missed some invaluable words of wisdom or, maybe you are a lazy blog reader (ahem, guilty ...) in which case, what can I say?
Your life could be SO different with just the click of a mouse ....
If you need a bit of a catch up (and I would strongly advise that you do) then this is a taste of what you may have missed:
So far I've covered dating tips for men - how not to kiss (this goes for anyone really but in particular ME because I've been there already and I didn't like it ok) - my brief foray into relationship counselling and my tact and discretion which would make me an ideal personal shopper.
Oh, and of course my dalliance into consumer testing with particular reference to control pants parts.
There are probably more but that should be enough for you to realise that I really DO know what I'm talking about.
Disclaimer in place - lets begin ... ;-)
Ok, well, the first thing you need to know is that this was my very first seduction (and I rarely find
My 'victim' was of course Surfer Dude.
Understandably there's always been speculation surrounding my relationship with SD.
We've spent a great deal of time together. He has made his feelings for me very clear from the start. I am very fond of him AND I've been open about the fact that there has always been a spark between us.
The general consensus has always been 'get in there girl!!!'
So, what was my problem? Well, a brief explanation .
Apart from that fact that my track record of crashing and burning in spectacular style makes me very VERY wary of putting my heart on the line again there were a couple of other things that bothered me.
SD has always been very popular with women.
Partly that's due to his natural friendly manner (it's impossible not to like him) and his genuine liking for women and partly it's because he has this 'pretty boy' look going on (pissing myself as I type that knowing how much he would hate for me to describe him in that way, but it's true, he has ;).
Funnily enough, although I've always appreciated SD's look he's never really been what I would consider to be my 'type'. He's tall and lean, blond and tanned ... incredibly fit - I know, I know, I'm wondering why that wouldn't really be my type too ...
The truth is, I've always tended to go for men who are a little more hmmm ... left of centre shall we say ...
I've known a few of SD's girlfriends in the past, most of them have been pretty damned stunning and there have been quite a few of them (blog fodder for another day ;). It's not so much that he was a player exactly he was just too busy having a good time and unwilling to compromise his lifestyle to settle down and fit in with convention.
It doesn't particularly bother me that he has a past, I'd be far more worried if he hadn't! But, did I really want to risk screwing up a friendship that means a great deal to me? Hmmm ...
Ok, now that's out of the way - back to the seduction!
Having finally been convinced that maybe I should stop buggering about and give him a whirl, or, as was so eloquently said, stop being such an 'arse', I decided to pull out all the stops and do this thing properly!
Now I've spent a fair amount of time knocking SD back so I realised that I might need to be just a little .... obvious?
I considered my options:
1) invite him round and open the door stark bollock naked ...
But what if he assumed I'd just 'forgotten' to put my clothes on or something ... (What??? it happens!).
2) invite him round and open the door wearing a seduction kit of stockings, high heels, nipple tassels (no, I don't actually HAVE any - but I could get some from somewhere or knit some or something couldn't I? ;) and murmur 'come and get me big boy'...
What if he assumed I'd just forgotten the rest of my clothes and just always wore that kit underneath and/or that I was drunk.
3) Invite him round and just pounce on him the moment I opened the door ...
Yep, he would definitely think I was drunk (either that or that I was trying to bite him again ....)
4) Be honest and open with him. Sit him down - talk to him - tell him that despite my fears, despite my reservations that maybe he was right.
Maybe we could make it work. Maybe I could have faith just one last time.
That maybe it was time I stopped being scared, that maybe it wasn't always me that got it wrong, maybe I wasn't the jinx I'd began to think I was and maybe it WAS time to start believing in myself and allowed myself a chance for happiness ... Because I do know that he would do everything in his power to make me happy ...
Bollocks to THAT idea - I mean, god, who on earth would do THAT?
You almost took me seriously for a moment there didn't you??
Be honest - you did didn't you? ;)
Obviously I went for option 5.
Invite him round - be subtly seductive - send out subliminal messages and remind him how totally irresistible I am by, I don't know ... twirling my hair - posing provocatively on the sofa or, or ... something??
Yep, I could do that!
First things first - arrange a child free night - tick!
Secondly - spend four hours giving myself that 'effortless sex goddess look'.
Slight hiccough when my temperamental hair straighteners refused to heat up leaving me looking something like this!