fudge

Monday, 21 November 2011

WoW - The Saddest Thing I Ever Heard


Write On Wednesdays


Write On Wednesdays Exercise 25 - I heard a song on the radio during the week and I thought the lyrics would make an interesting prompt for WoW. So, write the words "The saddest thing I ever heard" on your page, set your timer for 5 minutes and write the first words that come into your head based on the given prompt.

Sitting cross legged on the bed she was bathed in a pool of golden moonlight flooding in from the uncurtained window.

Like an enchanted ring of fire it kept her safe from the whispers.

She could hear them circling, trying to break through.  Fragmented sentences, single words.

Whirling in the dark like leaves caught in a maelstrom.  Sucking her down into the vortex of truth.

She drew her legs further away from the edge.  She wasn't ready to accept their truth just yet.

Were they right?

She may never know.

But it was time to acknowledge that not wanting the words to be true didn't make is so.

The whispers intensified.  Becoming louder, more insistent.

The whirling became faster and  more frantic.

They knew they were winning, they could taste victory.

The moonlight flickered and faded

The circle was breached.

Rushing towards her the whispers enveloped her in a cloak of reality.

Refusing to be silenced any longer.

As she bowed her head in submission a glint of silver caught her eye.

Slowly, regretfully, she reached out into the shadows and, closing the box, she hid the bangle from view

**************************************************

Today's shout out goes to Saturday Morning Ogre Mum  I haven't know Miss Cinders long but even when she's having a bit of a rant she still makes me smile :)

18 comments:

nicolewian said...

Intriguing!

Finding a skinnier me said...

Beautiful and sad.

Melissa said...

Interesting, though I wasn't quite sure what it was about... I hope you write more :)

Sarah Mac said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah Mac said...

That is possibly my most favorite comment EVER Melissa.

I think an awful lot of people feel just like that about me!

To be honest - I blame Gill for telling us to write a continuous stream of conciousness ;)

Sarah Mac said...

Thanks Nicole (I'm hoping that's a GOOD thing ;)

Thank you Fask - It's sad but with a positive spin at the same time I hope.

mi2 said...

It was beautiful. I've never heard moonlight described as golden or firelike before. It definitely gave me a very different picture of the moon than what is generally done. A good beefy harvest moon perhaps...

TV said...

I absolutely loved the addition of the sentence "She drew her legs further away from the ledge". I think we all know how that ledge haunts us. I'm getting a great Pandora's box image from this piece. Very creepy (in a good way).

ps: there's an intruder in the sentence "Where they right?" ;)

Romina Garcia said...

Please write a book. I will buy it. Two copies even.

Sarah Mac said...

Thanks mi2 - usually moonlight is described as silvery but sometimes (especially at this time of year) it's like a huge gold penny in the sky.

Thanks TV - there definitely is a Pandoras box element in this. It remains to be seen if she can shut the lid and move on.

The errant h - he is gone ;) I'm not sure I'd ever has spotted that, thanks :)

If it ever all gets put together Romina, I shall GIVE you a copy :)

Stephanie said...

I am left with wanting more of this story! I could sense a bit of angst within the context of the piece. The line "sucking her down into the vortex of truth" creates the angst and anger. Beautiful and unique way of describing such vivid emotions!

Jayne said...

I LOVE 'The circle was breached'. I'm visualising a pagan, witchy ritual under the moonlight :;)

B said...

Ooh - I love the intensity of this piece. I love that I have just had to read this twice because the first time I felt I had to read it really really fast so that I knew what on earth was whispering....

I would love to know what happens next... I love that I have so many questions about it... Why is she on the bed, is she in pjs or did she just come home from dancing? The voices; are they real or are they imagined or are they spirits. The bracelet; is it haunted or is it a reminder of a terrible thing she did... Oh my days, this better not keep me awake through the night!

Great job. I think that this may be one of your best pieces, true intrigue, drama and suspense.

Sarah Mac said...

Thanks Stephanie - there is a lot of angst in this story. She has been shutting the whispers out for so long but the point has come where she just can't anymore.

That's almost how if feels Jayne - her own powers have kept her cocooned for so long but the whispers are stronger than her now.

She's on the bed because it's bedtime B ;)

Haha - no - it's a direct follow on from last week.

She is sitting on the bed (fully clothed) thinking.

She has just come home from another date that ended on the doorstep (her choice). The voices are the voices in her head and the words of others that keep running through her mind (she doesn't want them to be true).

The bracelet - it's not haunted (although sometimes it feels like it is) and it's not a reminder of something terrible either.

It's as TV suggested, it's her Pandoras box - now people tend to think of the content of Pandoras box being harmful or evil in some way but in the original story when Pandora opened the box all the items were released into the world except for one ... hope.

Actually Mummy said...

Gosh that's impressive! Must have a go at one of these at some point :)

Sarah Mac said...

Thanks AM - drop in at Gills some time - I'm hooked on it and can't wait for the prompt each week to see how I can fit what I want to write around it.

Lots of truly great writing going on over there too and a lovely bunch of bloggers.

InkPaperPen said...

First of all, Sarah, I thought this was really interesting. If I wasn't aware of the background to your story, I would have thought this was a future/at war piece. Possibly as I just watched I am Legend on the TV! The whispers wanting to get in reminded me of monsters, something dark. I think this was a strong piece. I enjoyed reading it!


Secondly, re: your comment above. I really appreciate you saying how much you enjoy WoW. I think there has been some waning interest in WoW of late, Christmas, NaNo and me struggling to get around and read all the links have not helped. So to hear you say you are still enjoying it, especially when you have been playing along for so long, well, it has made my day! Thanks!

x

Rain said...

To be perfectly honest, Melissa's comment made me feel better because now I know I'm not the only one who didn't quite get what this is about. But the piece's mystery is part of its charm, so it's okay. It's a great piece.

I agree with B in that this may be one of the best pieces I've read from you, possibly even the best. I love the strong flow of emotions, the slow but steady transition from not wanting the whispers to be true to acknowledging that they must be, the ever-present anguish constant throughout the piece. I, too, want to know what happens next -- and what happened immediately before.

By the way, since Romina asked for two copies and you're just giving her one may I have the other? =D

/ Rain