Thursday, 29 September 2011

The Hottest September Day On Record


And I got to go to the beach!!!

I did spare a moment or two for those of you stuck in the city or in an office or really, just not AT THE BEACH :))

Being the generous kind of person I am I even took a few photos to share so you could pretend you were there too.  There was LOADS of room.  (guess everyone was stuck in the city or in an office or really, just not AT THE BEACH :))

Saunton Sands near Barnstable in Devon.  I would have loved to go back to Lulworth but it's just a little too far to go and get back in time for the children but hey, I'm not complaining, LOOK!!

Look, NO peeps!

guess they must all be in the city or stuck in
an office or something ....

Gus was there though

along with my shoes

no time to explore the sand dunes
(too busy sunbathing ;)

the tide was way, WAY out

the sun shone on the water

great surfing waves

Gus cooled off

hardly a cloud in the sky

umm, seaweed art?

did I mention there was hardly ANYONE there?
Can't imagine where they all could be ......

Wednesday, 28 September 2011


Ever wondered what motivates you to write?  I do.

Sometimes I lose my momentum and sometimes I just regurgitate every damn thing that's in my head.

I am having a pissed off day.  Definitely a (sa) DILLIGAF!!! day which is why I've stayed at home.  I don't want to inflict myself on anyone else.

I had a crap night with weird mixed up dreams featuring just about anybody and everybody that I'd rather NOT have in my dreams.

I woke up tired and cranky and transferred that onto both my children who probably went off to school hoping that someone else would be here in my place when they get home.  I am staying WELL away from FB today ;)

I read a post that not only made me cry buckets but also made me want to kick myself up the backside for being such a damned self indulgent cow.

I wrote a post for a meme that actually made me laugh when I re-read it. Surely NO ONE could be as bad as I made myself sound?

Sorry Sif, if you do another list next week I'll join in but I'm having a bit of a downer on me today so it's not a good time :)

That bloody cat (Bear of little brain) has, for the second time in a week, crapped behind my TV.  The back door is OPEN, he has a clean litter tray WTF is the MATTER with that animal???

The back door is now closed and he is on the other side of it.  My front room smells of disinfectant and I'm seriously hoping he finds a new family to adopt.  I don't have this problem with the others.  Tilly and Gus would rather explode than make a mess in the house so what is it with that little b*stard?  Answers on a postcard please.

It's a beautiful day here in Somerset, possibly one of the last we will have this year.  I should be out DOING something or at the very least tidying my garden for the winter.

I hung my washing on the new retractable line put up for me by a friend who didn't mind going up a ladder to drill into the wall (I'm not good with heights).  This one that is actually in the sun unlike the one put up years ago which is in the one spot of the garden that never gets sun at any time of the day.  A perfect day for getting all the jeans and heavy stuff done.  Five pairs of jeans and a couple of other things and the effing thing came away from the wall and catapulted my washing across the garden!  To add insult to injury the unit that holds the retracted line whizzed past my face, missing me by inches, scaring the sh*t out of me!

I know what my problem is.  I even know what the answer to my problem is. I also know that before I get there I'll probably carry on having the odd day where I'm a miserable bloody cow and knowing that pisses me off too because that's not really who I am and I hate it.

posting a photo that was
never going to see the light of day
just proves to me that I REALLY don't GAF :)
Maybe you shouldn't wish your life away but sometimes I'd quite like a fast forward button just to get past these days.

Tomorrow is set to be a beautiful day too and I've arrange to go to the beach with a friend.  Being by the sea soothes my soul, empties my mind, makes me whole again.

I can't WAIT until tomorrow!!!

Tomorrow I shall write a post filled with beautiful photos and positive thoughts

All I have to do is survive today!

Monday, 26 September 2011

Songbird - Write on Wednesday

Write On Wednesdays

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 16:
Hadge says:  Take a favorite (or even random play) song and write the story behind the lyrics, not something inspired by the lyric, but the flesh on the bones of the story. It gives lots of scope for interpretative writing. Use the lyrics or theme of a song  for a piece of flash fiction (50 to 200 words). To clarify, write your version of the story behind the lyrics in a song

I promised the back story to one of the men in Rock Chicks story and Hadge has given me the perfect prompt.  Thank you Hadge (I've included the link so you can play it if you like while you read the post). Can't work out how to embed the video, sorry and the song is more a projection of his feelings.

Biffy Clyro - Many of Horrors

She turned off the TV just as the familiar theme tune started to play and the credits began to roll.

'It’s true what they say' she thought tapping the remote thoughtfully against her chin as she pondered on the events that had just been played out before her.

'Sometimes real life does reflect drama, or is it the other way around?'

She cast her mind back to the first time she had seen him.

She rarely came to this park.  It was too perfect, too ordered, the flowerbeds looked like they had been created with cookie cutters.  The serried ranks of flowers and shrubs seemed to go against the course of nature.

Today she sat with her knees up to her chin, her arms wrapped around them, sheltering from the sharp, late spring breeze.  Hidden from view by the pillars of the war memorial.

He passed by her, the loaf of bread in his hand swinging as he walked with a long purposeful stride.  He glanced her way, she shrank back slightly, making herself smaller, tucking her head into her knees, not wanting to be seen.

“Come and feed the ducks with me”.  She looked up to see him standing in front of her.  From her position on the cold stone floor it was impossible to tell how tall he was but she guessed at over 6ft.

His eyes twinkled as he held out his hand.  “Come on, I can’t vouch for the ducks but I promise you, I don’t bite”.

Somehow she had felt helpless to resist and as she placed her cold hand in his and he pulled her up.  Her legs were stiff from being so long in the same position and she stumbled slightly resting her other hand on his chest, feeling the cool, smooth cotton of his shirt under her fingers.  She looked up into his eyes, deep blue and heavily fringed in lashes too long for a man.  Lashes that any woman would kill for.

He caught his breath slightly.  “Come on” he said, “lets stand on the bridge and feed those greedy sods”.

He handed her a slice of bread and she slowly tore it into pieces dropping it into the water to be fought over by the hungry ducks.  'What am I doing' she thought stealing a sideways glance at him only to find his eyes resting on her.

“Its ok” he said with a smile, “I don’t usually do this kind of thing either”.  “What, feed the ducks ?”she said returning his smile.  He laughed, “that too, but I meant asking women I don’t know to feed them with me”.

“Then why” she asked curiously, “why me”?  

“You looked so lost and lonely and ..... and  a little frail”.  At this she laughed out loud.  “I don’t think I’ve ever been called frail before”.  “And beautiful" he said turning his attention back to the ducks,” you looked so bloody beautiful ………….”

In silence they continued to throw the bread to the ducks, the breeze picked up again blowing tendrils of hair across her face.  She shivered slightly.

“Coffee” he announced as he threw the last morsel into the water shaking the crumbs from the bag before screwing it up and forcing it into his pocket.

They walked along the path that led to the golf course and the appropriately named Sand Wedge cafĂ©.  The tables were set outside in the sunshine sheltered from the wind.

She had an urge to run, she didn’t understand why she was here, and she didn’t know what he wanted from her.

He began to talk, telling her about himself, his work as a solicitor, his love of cars of the countryside of music and films. He told her a little of his loss and his sorrow, opening up to her in ways she suspected he rarely did.  Gradually she stopped being afraid,  her hands wrapped around the steaming mug of coffee her senses soothed by the rough northern undertones of his accent overlaid with the clipped vowels of the public school he slightly self consciously, told her about.

She found herself watching his mouth as he talked.  Full lipped and sensuous.  His hair, so dark and cut very short but with a suspicion of curl.  His hands which he used expressively as he talked had long, square tipped fingers.  The fine hairs on his forearm exposed where he had pushed back his sleeves. The way his eyes crinkled as he smiled.  The furrows between them that told the tale of his sadness.

He asked her gentle probing questions about herself, moving on if she seemed hesitant in her answers.  Interested but not pushing her to places she didn’t want to go.

“Can I see you again” he asked as she gathered her things to leave.  The fear and the doubts returned, “I don’t know” she replied, “maybe”.  “Take my card” he said pressing it into her hand, “call me, please ……..”

She glanced at the card before tucking it into her pocket.  Impulsively she reached forward and kissed him on the cheek whispering, “I will”.  As she pulled away he turned his face and lightly kissed her full on the mouth, “soon, call me soon”.

She paused on the bridge to glance back at him still standing where she had left him, hands in his pockets watching her go.  He smiled and mouthed “soon”.

She couldn't know then how she would break his heart.

She couldn't know then that more than a year later he would still be waiting for her. Wanting to be the one to mend the broken pieces of hers.

My Guide On How To Avoid Gurning

I get nagged every now and then by a couple of friends on FB for not posting any photos of me.

Well, there's a really good reason for that.

I have inherited my Mothers ability (along with her face shape) for gurning at every given photo opportunity.

So I take photos I don't appear in them and anyway, I LIKE taking photos.

Well, on Saturday I had an unexpected day out. The weather was freakishly warm for England in September and I went to the beach with a friend.

Lulworth Cove in Dorset.  Breathtakingly beautiful, making me realise yet again, I NEED a good camera!

I took some photos anyway:
Of The Scenery

a bucket and spade tree
I want one!
Sunset over Durdle Dor

Lulworth Cove

Sunlight on the water

I then developed a fascination for feet underwater

Random strangers beware
I will ask you to stand still while I photograph your feet

digging with my toes in pebbles didn't do much for my nail polish

And then, my friend was gobsmacked to be asked to take some photos of ME.  Mind you, I did specify back views only (not the face, PLEASE, not the face!).  Just because, well, just because one day, I may wish I had some.

Keeping almost within remit I don't think my friend did too bad a job really (apologies to any FB friends who may have already seen some of these but I'm so chuffed not to look hideous that I am compelled to show them yet again:).

A sneaky profile one

That moment before I jumped

And yes, the water was bloody FREEZING but it felt great and was worth being looked at like I was some kind of mad woman.

This may not be the Arse Art promised in a previous post but I think it does prove catagorically that I DO have one!

Sunday, 25 September 2011

Listography - Kate Takes 5

Soooo, this weeks listography is - Top 5 celebrities I'd like to go for a beer with.

Well, it's more likely to be a vodka for me than a beer but when I go out I like to have fun, let my hair down, behave badly (preferably in a town far, far away from where I live;).

So, bearing that in mind the 5 celebrities I'd like to join me are:

1. Nicolas Cage because he is just amazing in everything from Captain Corelli's Mandolin to Kick Ass and of course City of Angels (although it did made me cry).

2. Vin Diesel as long as he came as the anti-hero Riddick.  I've had a bit of a DVD fest this weekend and the Chronicles of Riddick were the highlight.  After a few drinks we could play his favorite game ....

3. Alice Cooper - A night out with him would be one to remember and we could swap make up tips, bonus!

4.Dame Judy Dench - because I love her in everything from Shakespeare to the Bond movies and a hell of a lot in between.

5.  Hugh Jackman - Ha ha, do I REALLY need to explain that one??? :)  Ummm, well yes, obviously because he was great in Van Helsing, The Fountain and X-men (although that's not my favorite film) but mostly it's just because he could only get better after a few vodkas (is that POSSIBLE???)

Silent Sunday

Silent Sunday

Friday, 23 September 2011


I've had two phone calls today.

With no preamble they both plunged right into the middle of conversation like a) I knew who the hell it was and b) I knew what the hell they were talking about.

Ok, so technically I DID know who it was thanks to caller ID but who starts a conversation with:

a)  Has it arrived yet?  or

b) Don't buy any potatoes!

A. would have made more sense if I'd been expecting something which I wasn't and B. I could have understood a little better had I been on my way to the supermarket, which again, I wasn't.

A was Big D, he has a tendency to order stuff from Amazon and have it delivered to my address in the hope that he can sneak it into his own home without the lovely L noticing.   The fact that he gets so excited about his latest purchase and  usually ends up telling her about it thus negating the need for all this subterfuge seems to have passed him by.

The fact that he expects me to stay in and wait for his deliveries has NOT passed me by!

B was my friend Woody.  He'd fixed a computer as a favour for a farmer friend of his who in return had pressed upon him a large sack of potatoes. An  ideal thank you for a single guy!!

Dressing it up in the guise of a generous gift he thought that I might like a sodding great sack spuds that would no doubt sit mouldering and sprouting while the children and I waded through mountains of mash for the next couple of months.

Before you think I'm an ungrateful cow you should remember that a)  HE doesn't want them and  b) until the damned things start rotting his plan is to pop over every now and then to pick up a few when he needs them (or he can persuade me to cook for him).

I am just a storage facility!  In fact, I'm just a bloody storage facility for both of them, hmmmm!

bit of a weird camera angle trying to
avoid showing you my knickers :)

As I was walking through town earlier today I became aware of a strange phenomenon, my jeans were GROWING.  I swear to god when I put them on this morning they fitted.  As far as I'm aware I haven't lost any weight in the last 5/6 hours but you could practically fit a whole other me in there now!!!

What's THAT all about??

Finally, a quick Happy Birthday for tomorrow to Smart Arse.  I won't join in with the unwashed hoards on FB  to wish you many happy returns because I have my own little space right here.  Have a great day and have a vodka for me (I may even buy you one some time :) xx

Thursday, 22 September 2011

While The Rest of the World Peacefully Sleeps

I'm sitting here seriously thinking of cleaning out my fridge ......

It's 2:36am for gods sake, the alarm will be going off in just under 4 hours, I really don't want to be awake.

So yes, my fridge probably could do with a clean (although I do hasten to add that this, along with the loo, is one of the few things I do have a slight cleaning obsession with) it possibly could and probably will wait until tomorrow (or should I say later today!).

In a moment of madness today I bought a new ironing board cover.  Not madness in the sense that I don't NEED a new ironing board cover, I do, I did!  But, well ............. judge for yourself!!

How NOT me could something be?  I've got no idea what came over me.  I am NOT a pink person.  I don't do fluff or kitch and to be quite honest, I don't really do much ironing either if I can help it!  It is pretty good for doing hand shadows on though .........

Obviously I DO iron but I'm not OCD about it and if I could hand it over to someone else then I would, happily.

I have a kind of Erma Bombeck take on life ie  'My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint'.

I have been having a bit of a clear out recently though.  I've discovered that people actually want to buy all the crap I've been storing for years.  You have no idea how liberating it is to clear out the under stairs cupboard and the stuff that I found ............??  A chocolate fountain, a candyfloss maker, a deep fat fryer, bread maker, George Foreman Grill, a steamer thing for taking off wallpaper, a mitre saw, a yoga mat ...... the list goes on.  I also inexplicably found a copy of Puppetry of the Penis, the mind boggles!!

I'm kind of half tempted to watch it (god only knows where it came from!) but I know I'd probably spend most of the time with my hands over my eyes.  Wonder if I'd have the nerve to slip it in with the DVD's going to the car boot sale ........

Hmmm, I am minimalising my house.  I still have a way to go but I'm finding it quite therapeutic.  There's stuff here that serves no real purpose at all and yet I'm so used to seeing it that I don't see it anymore (if you see what I mean).  I have two cutlery drawers in the kitchen for instance.  In one, all the knives, forks, spoons ect and useful stuff, in the other?  Well, duplicates really of everything in the first drawer and I NEVER use any of it.

Last week I had an appointment at the hospital regarding my fat foot (new comers may not know the story but I can't be arsed to trawl back to find a link).  After 6 months I can confirm that I don't have gout, a dodgy lymphatic system, a broken ankle or arthritis.  I also don't have a particularly fat foot anymore either although there is still a little swelling.

What I DO have is a beautiful ankle!  Now that's not just my opinion, the consultant said it 7 times!!! (I started keeping count after the third time).  He was technically looking at an xray at the time  and talking about bone structure and spacing and stuff buy hey, I'll take my compliments where I can get em!

Not sure how I wandered on to that subject ...........  I think I just wanted to boast a little about having perfect ankles .... (I'm assuming the other one is too).

It's now 3:26am and in the interests of not eating a huge piece of chocolate fudge cake that is calling me from the fridge that I'd no doubt clean if I got up to look in it, I am going to sleep (I hope!) .......  night all

Monday, 19 September 2011

WoW - The Conflict

Write On Wednesdays

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 15 Give yourself some time to notice the people around you. The people who may cross your path each day. The lady in front of you at the supermarket, the man who helps the school kids cross the road, a neighbour, a waitress in a cafe, a librarian, anyone at all. Choose one person, someone you don't know, and this person will become the basis of the week's writing exercise. Describe this person as you see them, describe their surroundings. Then imagine a problem, create conflict for this person. Describe the conflict. Describe how your character deals with the problem. The conflict might resolve itself, it might not. It is up to you. Perhaps, the lady in the supermarket has forgotten her wallet. Does she bursts into tears? Maybe the librarian finds a lost child. The aim is to show how your character responds to conflict and in the process, reveal something about that character. Tell us their story.

I decided to use this weeks prompt to describe the internal conflict of  Rock Chick.  My dilemma this week was that I had two partly written posts about her based on the events of the past week.  I decided to use both.  Two different stories with an element of conflict both internal and with others.  Two very different conclusions, one positive the other, well, the other not so much.

Bangles and Blackberries

Leaning back on the sun warmed metal of the car door she surveyed the slightly rickety table in front of her.

Covered with a dark blue chenille cloth it held a host of carefully displayed memories.

“How much do you want for this?”  The man was holding an intricately designed wrought iron wine rack with a pattern of leaves and grapes.

He had the hungry look of a dealer about him, trying to appear nonchalant but the glint in his eye betrayed him.  Slightly scruffy, dressed in varying shaded of beige, a cap pulled low over his brow, hair curling over his collar.  Trying to blend in with the crowd but the flash of gold at his wrist belied the deliberately casual attire.

“£10” she said flatly.  He sniffed.  “Give you a fiver for it” he reached for his wallet like it was a done deal.

“£10” she said more firmly.  “Do it for 8 quid, split the difference?”  She decided not to split hairs by pointing out that splitting the difference would have actually made it £7:50.

“Sorry” she said all the while thinking, ‘it’s a bloody bargain at a tenner and you KNOW it mate!’

He sniffed again. Putting it down he moved on up the dusty path to the next table muttering under his breath, ” it’s a fucking car boot sale not fucking Covent Garden you know.”

Well, maybe he was right but it was early yet. Plenty more buyers would pass by and, although she couldn’t afford to be fussy, somehow she didn’t want him to have any of her memories.  She fought the urge to wipe his greasy fingerprints from the wine rack, telling herself that this was a means to an end, that these were just ‘things’.

The day passed in a blur of talking, selling and rearranging to fill the gaps.

 The tin box held a small pile of notes, her jeans pockets jingled with coins, one for each child as she sold the things they had gathered together.

In the late afternoon there was a brief respite.  Leaving the depleted table in the capable hands of her friend  she picked up her discarded polystyrene coffee cup and wandered across the field to the hedgerow which was laden with plump, juicy blackberries.  After filling the cup to the brim, her fingers and lips stained with the purple juice, she stopped by a stall and bought some cooking apples, acid green with smooth waxy skins. 

As the day drew to a close she packed up the unsold items, carefully wrapping them in newspaper and stowing them in a box.

Her hand hovered over the tin, would it be enough?  What would she do if it wasn’t? She couldn't even contemplate THAT possibility, it had to be enough.

Carefully she counted the money.  It WAS enough.  She sent up a silent prayer of thankfulness.

Suddenly the sale of her memories seemed less important.

This, this was what mattered right now.


Broken Dreams
“What’s not to love?”

She sat looking at her friend, nibbling the skin on the edge of her thumb, the steam rising from the teapot on the table between them.

“He’s tall, good looking, successful, and he adores you, seriously, what more do you want, what more could ANYONE want?”

Still she said nothing, examining her thumb which was now red and sore.

“We don’t laugh” she said eventually.

“Of course you do, you ....”

“You don’t understand” she interrupted. “Yes, he can MAKE me laugh, but we don’t laugh together, it’s not the same, not the same thing at all”.

“I know how  ……….. “  She trailed off.  Somehow she couldn't find the words that would do justice to the way she felt.  It was impossible to explain how you just knew when something felt right. This didn't, and no matter how hard she tried she knew it never would.

“What is it you know” said her friend “because you’re right, I don’t understand.  Do you know how many people would love to be in your shoes right now?  Do you know how many people are queuing up to be in your shoes?  He’s not going to hang around forever you know, sooner or later he’ll get tired of waiting and someone else will snap him up”.

She shrugged, “maybe”.

“I’m beginning to think that’s what you want" said her friend, "it saves you from having to make a decision. It means you can't be blamed for breaking his heart because that's what you're going to do, you know that don't you?"

She looked around the teashop.  The checked cloth covered with a sheet of glass on every table.  The blackboard on the wall with the daily specials.  Above the counter another board proclaiming ‘chocolate menu’, everything from gluten free chocolate brownies to hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows.

On every table a vase of fresh flowers.

“This place used to be called Flowers you know”.

Her friend sighed in exasperation.  “Tell me” she said. “Tell me what it is that’s stopping you”.

Reaching into her bag she drew out a box.  Opening it she said, “It’s broken. I loved it, I looked after it, I would never have done anything to damage it and yet it broke”.

Her friend reached across the table and gently took the bangle from the box examining it closely.

“It can be mended” she said softly, “look”.  She traced the silver wire with her finger.  “It’s just come unstuck from where it was fixed to the stone.  It’s not really broken, it’s just come apart a little”.

“Maybe that's true” she replied with a smile. But the smile couldn't hide the sadness in her eyes.

Saturday, 17 September 2011

Listography - What Makes Your House a Home?

This week Mother Porridge  is hosting the Kate Take 5 listography.

I haven't taken part for a while but I couldn't resist this weeks list and, having read Mother Porridge's list, I couldn't believe how similar her home seems to be to mine!

Bearing this in mind I've decided to follow her list format loosely so you can compare for yourself :)

I also love fairy lights
1. Random objects everywhere - Yep, that's me.  I love the idea of there being a place for everything and in fact, there probably IS. It just isn't always the obvious place and I may not always be able to instantly recall what that place is.

 In an effort to reduce the chaos I bought a merchants chest.  15 drawers (I know, one of the handles is missing, it's in one of those bloody 15 drawers and I WILL get round to fixing it back on ......... one day.....).

In truth the damn thing is filled with so much crap I can't find anything.  Last night I did sort through the small top drawers though so I'm getting there.

Bear taking a snooze while I'm trying to type!
2.  The pets - Two cats, Tilly and Bear (he of little brain), one dog, Gus and the hamster Figgy (so called because he is large, round and full of nuts and fruit).  They give my home a warm feeling.  Partly that's because there is always someone there to welcome you home and partly because the amount of bloody hair they shed gives a whole new layer of insulation to everything.

part of my 'filing system'

3. My paper mountain - I have several and a few carrier bags of it and a filing cabinet (rarely used but useful for holding my hair straighteners).  How I envy people who deal with things as they come in, who have budgets and adhere to them who (or so Im told) have SPREADSHEETS and can account for every penny.  Of course there is not justifiable reason why I can't be one of those people too and it would make my life sooo much easier but hmmmm, aint NEVER gonna happen!

some of my treasures (ps I HATE that wallpaper with a vengeance!)
4. The piano - Ahh, well, I don't have one of those but I wish I did, I really FEEL I could play it if I did!  I do have lots of other things though.  I'm a bit of a charity shop junky and a great believer in one persons rubbish being another persons treasure.

see, clean water

5. The quirks - Where do I start???  The bowl that catches the relentless drip from the toilet cistern (CLEAN water I do assure you ;).  The two way lighting in the dining room that's wired up wrong so you have to turn the lights on in a certain order otherwise they don't work.  The way that due to my Victorian plumbing when you empty the bath the shower tray fills with water.  The fact that their isn't a single square doorway or level floor in the house.  The way the wind whistles down my chimney when it's blowing in a certain direction making a sound like an orchestra tuning up (badly!).  I could go on .....

I know, that's my 5 but I just need to sneak one last one in - memories :)

they may not be quite so cute these days  but they are just as loveable.